Bathing in divinity, surrounded by the lushness of nature and the sounds of the ocean, petals of love and scents of the roses was this picture taken by my beloved.
In deep reunion with my sensuality. It has been a journey.
To be honest, has it been an initiation for me to share such a skin revealing picture.
It came with the fear of judgment. About, what if people think I seek attention or maybe I should not reveal that much skin as a spiritual devoted person, as a practitioner of yogic mysticism and devotee to the path of self-realization.
Yet how can a body that has been shaped by the goddess and that expresses its inherent beauty from a space of sensual innocence and openness not as well reflect purity? Why would it have to be one or the other?
I have been in deep pondering with this matter. I know that there are many women out there posting skin revealing pictures of themselves as a call for validation, as a form of needing love and the need to be seen. As I once use to do.
Maybe I have been the one judging them on some level. Isn’t that the truth, that the fear of judgment we have is actually just the very judgment that we place on others or on ourselves?
So, first of all, I want to apologize to all these women that I have judged before. Because even if you were seeking attention, who am I to judge?
As Yeshuah said, ” Let him who is without sin (sin representing the ego) cast the first stone.”
Now my journey with the red waters has been one of deep refinement (read more about the red waters in previous blog post, link in bio).
I use to be very expressive with my sensuality, I would post whatever I felt in resonance with, I would not feel hesitant in posting skin revealing pictures of myself and sharing my beauty in that way. I am aware that some of that behavior was part of seeking validation.
Yet was I free in a sense because I was not in fear about the judgment of others.
Then I went into a deep journey of purification and letting go of many layers. Throughout that journey did I repressed some aspects of myself. I repressed my free wild woman, my free sensual nature, and my authentic way of being because I believed I had to be perfect, to fit into a box and into a “perfect relationship” that I was in at that time and that was shaping my reality and my spiritual growth.
I believed that in order to be spiritual I had to be “pure” – veiling my body, only showing my positive side and be loving in front of others, never speaking about my shadow or processes that I was going through. Acting in a certain way, behaving in a certain way, not doing any activities that are not spiritual or so-called “low-vibrational” like having a glass of wine for example.
It was the time that my wild woman, my red waters, Miriam ( my former name) was shut down.
It was the time where I interestingly actually suppressed a big part of my femininity and is it not that what we are all talking about, the rising of the feminine? And the representation of the divine feminine in form of the red waters which is Mary (Miriam) Magdalene, that very aspect that I suppressed and that woman that was called a whore by the catholic church.
The power of our free expression, of our sensuality, of sexual alchemy, of the passion, of the mysteries of womb and yoni… such highly and most important part of our lives, of creation they are. Yet is there a form of patriarchal spirituality that does not want to see and acknowledge that. It speaks about only the white waters, about ascending and transcending, about letting go of desires and detaching from our human self, from our lower chakras, basically about denying our sacred body and life on earth.
So here we are trying to ascend, trying to return to our star family and galactic origin, downloading all sorts of coded information, trying to always seek the next phenomenal experience.
And our sacred body? And the honoring of Mother Earth? And our sexuality and humanness and the journey through the emotions and the opening of the heart into complete authenticity and vulnerability through simplicity?
So yes I experienced that galactivation station. And yes I unlocked a lot of coding and it was very exciting and fun. But once the veil of spiritual glamour was released I met something way more real, powerful, and beautiful. I met myself as I am. And in that did I met love and vulnerability.
And as I continue to keep reclaiming aspects of myself is this picture representing the full reclaim of my sensuality and of the free expression of the red waters.
At the same time do I know that I had to completely let this aspect of myself go and purify the shadow of the seductress to now come back into a completely new expression of it, from a space of love.
So, therefore, am I grateful as I have learned so much. What a mystery life’s journey is.
The truth is when we think we know is it that we are in ignorance.
That is the paradox of it.
Remember to allow your heart, your inner voice, and the wisdom of your body to speak, you are the one who holds all the keys to unlock the miracle of the garden of Eden on Earth.
May the beauty and innocence of sensuality awaken within your sacred temple.