PART 4 (of 4)
Fast forward 5 years later.
Here I am, hi. Feeling raw and tender after writing this, but free. And filled with life. It’s been a ride to come full circle.
Of reclaiming my wild, innocent, ambiguous, sexy, juicy Self and the embodied knowing that she is not only okay, she is so fucking needed in the world.
And also alchemizing my dark feminine shadow aspects into their higher expression, which the family has supported me with. They were also master healers and psychics, and through their training, my spiritual, psychic, and shamanic healing gifts accelerated massively, and I am very grateful for that.
So there were many lessons and many gifts in this journey.
And while it took me a while to unravel my being from the twisted beliefs, I also own that it was me who attracted that through my own vanity back then, and it was me who gave my power away in order to learn and heal.
It has been a deep karmic bond, and we all certainly have had many lives before and truly – I love each and every one of these beings deeply, as what we shared together over these 2 years created a strong bond.
And some of them I still consider my deep soul family to this day.
We all learned our lessons in one way or the other, and some are still learning their lessons until the time is ready for them to wake up.
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My conclusion:
In the ancient pathway of Tantra, the realization of God is not through renouncing, purity, or perfection. It is through living life fully, in deep presence with every breath, and ravishing in the ecstasy of each moment.
While having the courage to meet our inner darkness, heal, take full responsibility for our lives, and move with radical authenticity into what feels alive and needed for us in each and every moment.
It’s not about perfection. It is about devotion, presence, and the realization that our messy, sweet self is perfect as it is as we bring it into complete liberty and love.
It moves beyond all dogmas and stories.
And if you find yourself to be in a community or follow teachings that hold strong beliefs on how things should be, I would certainly suggest discernment and carefulness.
I have heard from many people that had similar and even more severe stories than mine, and it took them a long time to heal, if at all.
I am blessed because I have a solid sisterhood and because my inner Enchantress is very strong, and I know she has been leading this entire thing for me to unearth the pearl of wisdom, sovereignty, and power that came through this experience.
So on my end, darling heart, the fire is trembling.
I don’t know exactly what it means and what it looks like, but I can feel its fucking power, and there is nothing that can shut it down as all parts of me unleash into their full enigmatic authentic divine expression.
It feels so liberating to have shed light on the past, releasing the last pieces of this story.
If you have come with me until here through this whole journey, wow, thank you, my friend, for witnessing me!
Never forget, beloved, life is too short not to live it fully. And whatever that means to you, whatever that sparks in your heart, is the truth of your soul. Follow that, trust that, and you will co-create a life of magic.
Because we came here to create an epic Renaissance in a whole new way, where we get to express ourselves freely, celebrate each other’s radiance, and rise in our sacred artistry and magnitude in our own unique, extraordinary way.
I want to thank my soul sisters for supporting me through this journey so deeply, giving me refuge, and believing in me, and I also want to thank my beloved Gabriel for ALWAS cheering me on to rise into my true authentic expression and for loving my madness!
I finished it – and of course, it’s 2:22 😉 Time to get some Ice Cream 😀