Diving into the unknown.
What does this truly mean? As are we not constantly in the unknown? Do we ever truly know?
How many times did you have an exact plan about something, a clear idea of how it will be and work out, and in the end it was totally different?
For me, this happens all the time.
It’s the constant push to remind us that we are not in control. That we do not know. That life is uncertainty.
The acceptance and surrender into this, opens miracles, crates magic, wonderment, and joy.
The resistance to that creates suffering.
It is a constant dance of remembering. And here I am catching myself over again planning ahead and then witnessing how the course of things just change. It’s inevitable.
Now I am learning to not even plan. Yes, I can have visions, ideas, preferences, I can have a direction – but not to overthink it, not to be attached to it but to keep giving it up to God.
To contain this precious lifeforce energy that is wasted on planning and overthinking and come into full acceptance that I don’t know.
It does feel scary if I think about it. A part of me wants to know, plan, control as this makes me feel safe. Yet it’s all a mental game. The truth of the matter is we do not know.
Here I am sitting on my own in a wonderful home, surrounded by the majestic mountains of Mexico, in acceptance. Accepting that I do not know what I am meant to be doing next, I do not even know what the next moment will bring.
Can I live like that? Can I surrender deeper into this? Can I become the unknown?
This expands into another level of depth – what do I truly know? Do I know anyone or anything? Do I know who or what I am? What is life about?
Indeed we can say to serve others, to serve God – but what is God and who are others? And how do we truly serve?
At this point for me does it mean to just be. And accept that I don’t know. Accept that I don’t know when I will know and every time I think I know I’m deluding myself.
But there is one thing I know – the moments when I don’t think about it, the moments when I just am it – hold utter beauty, wonderment, joy, and love.
That is the direction. To stay in that space until all dissolves into Love.